


It Should Have Been Me

by LiLing



Series: Death & Reincarnation; Reborn to Relive [2]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst and Tragedy, Gen, M/M, Writing Exercise, im trying my hardest to english rn, what is angst lmao
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-20
Updated: 2020-02-20
Packaged: 2021-02-19 14:36:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,910
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22812628
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LiLing/pseuds/LiLing
Summary: Something felt amiss with Kei so I tried to make him feel better. I really should have listened to him in the first place.
Relationships: Kuroo Tetsurou/Tsukishima Kei
Series: Death & Reincarnation; Reborn to Relive [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1634614
Kudos: 17





	It Should Have Been Me

**Author's Note:**

> This is the second story to the mini collection of Haikyuu short stories I am writing for "Death & Reincarnation; Reborn to Relive."
> 
> "It Should Have Been Me" takes place post canon in a slightly moderated AU.
> 
> I'm not a native English speaker, so I practice my writing skills in fic format. Thank you!

** The Second Story **

It was like any other day. We woke up. We kissed. We cuddled. We made morning love. And we had breakfast. But what made today different? What made it go wrong? Why did it happen to us?

This morning Kei got up after me as usual. He’d become very cranky when I’d wake him up before his alarm goes off, so I’d usually just leave him be. Ever since we moved in together after he graduated high school, I thought I’d know his demeanour inside out… but I guess there are still a lot of things I’ve yet to learn of my lover, even though we’ve been dating for a few years now.

I made some fluffy strawberries pancakes which I’ve slowly converted him into liking (since he could eat his favourite shortcake for breakfast which isn’t good!) and a small cup of coffee which he slowly drank as he ate his breakfast.

Nothing seemed out of the norm, nothing yet. That’s what I would’ve thought.

Kei seemed surprisingly sullen this morning too. I don’t know why. Was the sex not good this morning? Did I strain him a bit too much?

I looked at him from across the kitchen table as he ate the last piece of pancake.

He’s got cream on the side of his mouth… hahaha how cute.

“What are you staring at?” he asked, obviously feeling a bit shy.

“Nothing,” I’d reply. “Well… perhaps just a little bit of cream here.”

Pointing to the cream leftovers on his face, I watched him bashfully wipe his mouth clean.

_Ahh I missed an opportunity there…_

“You’ve got a mischievous look on your face, what are you thinking of you pervert,” he retorted, rolling his eyes as he picked up his dishes and head towards the sink.

_Hahaha… still has bashful as ever. I wonder who was it that confessed to who back in the day?_

I could hear the tap running and a low hum as Kei washed his plates. It was only 8am and it’s a Sunday too.

No work for me today. And Kei’s got no class. I wonder if he’ll want to go on a date with me later.

“Hey Kei,” I casually called out.

“Hm?”

“It’s Sunday today…”

“It is.”

“Let’s go out on a date.”

Looking over my shoulder I could see Kei dry his plates and stored them away. He was quiet, but it wasn’t any different than his normal self. But… why do I feel like something is amiss?

“So…?” I playfully urged, head still tilted back as I looked at him from the table.

He sighed. And I could see him fiddle his fingers which he usually does when he’s nervous or uncertain of something.

“Kuroo,” he began. “Can we just stay at home today?”

“Ehh… but it’s Sunday today! And it’s very rare that we’re both doing absolutely nothing on a weekend.”

I put on my pleading face. I know these puppy dog eyes will strike a chord within Kei. It always does. I could see him fiddling some more; he really does seem like he’s bit… agitated? But perhaps if we go out for some fresh air he’d feel at ease. At least then, he might tell me what’s troubling him.

“Kei, is everything alright?” I asked. Clearly I didn’t want to push him to go out, but at least I earnestly wanted him to relax with me.

“It’s… nothing,” he’d reply softly.

“Is it the sex,” I asked bluntly. “Is morning sex a bit too much for you these days?”

I could see him flush red all the way up to his ears.

_Hahaha… how cute._

“You… pervert! That’s not it…” he stammered, still fiddling.

“Come here,” I cooed over, hand out for him to reach.

He slowly walked over and took hold of my hand.

As I took hold of it and gripped it tight, I pulled him over till he sat on top of me.

“If it’s not the sex,” I whispered to him, “then what’s wrong?”

I could feel his back stiffen, not because he was aroused, but because… it felt like he was about to cry.

“I… don’t feel too well,” he started to say. “My stomach feels weird and I just… feel like I had a bad dream.”

He hugged me tight.

It was a hug that felt like he was insecure. It felt like he really didn’t want to let me go.

“Okay then, then I guess we could stay home…” I started to say as I gently stroked the back of his head. “But once you feel better, how about we go for a walk later?”

He looked down still with uncertain eyes, and nodded slowly in agreement.

I guess this morning nothing went out of the ordinary.

But something really did feel amiss. I just couldn’t put my finger on it.

I guess I should have trusted in my gut, and I guess I should have trusted in my lover.

I wished we should’ve just stayed at home.

* * *

By around lunch time, Kei’s mood seemed to have lightened a bit.

We ordered some takeaway and watched a movie.

It was good.

If only I kept my mouth shut and didn’t continue to pester him to go out for a walk, everything would’ve been fine. But hey. I didn’t want this opportunity to go to waste since it’s such a fine sunny day today!

As promised, Kei and I went out to take a stroll around the city district. I decided to take him shopping for some clothes that I feel would look really nice on him when he attends class. He’s always wearing the same outfit, and even though he looks really good in them, I really would love to see him a bit more… fashionable.

We ended up buying 2 new shirts and a pair of new headphones for him. He seemed really content with his new Somy headphones since these new headphones are bluetooth compatible. Those wired ones would always get in the way, he’d always complain. What would I know? I don’t use those giant overhead ones Kei uses.

I also secretly got him a present. It’s a small gift which brought back some nostalgic memories. I hear it’s quite a trend to give your partner these as there’s some sort of “magic” behind it. Who knows if it’s true or not? All I know is that this is a gift I want to give to him. I feel like he’d refuse to wear it, but I’ll get him to acknowledge it. After all, he is my lover. I don’t think he realises I bought it, but even if he did he’d probably play along and won’t ask me anything. Typical Kei. That’s what I love about him.

It was around 4pm when we decided to head home. We stopped by Kei’s favourite café and ordered some more strawberry shortcake. I swear to god, this boy can eat this sweet cake day in and out and still won’t get diabetes.

There wasn’t a lot of baggage so we decided to walk home. At least, that was what I intended to do.

The spring breeze wafted through the city like any other day. The birds flew overhead; people with friends and lovers alike were out and about enjoying themselves on this fine Sunday afternoon.

But this afternoon, if only I had paid more attention to my surroundings, that accident shouldn’t have happened.

It happened to fast.

It came out of nowhere.

If Kei hadn’t crossed that road, then all things would have been as per normal.

Even though the pedestrian lights were green, I should have held him back and walked behind the crowd. I should have at least held his hand, even in public as we crossed the road.

Is this what I felt this morning?

This uncertainty.

This foreboding feeling that’s been around Kei.

Oh the regret.

Oh my biggest regret.

* * *

He could hear murmurs. The bustling of people by his side whispering – no, they were talking.

He slowly opened his eyes. And saw a familiar face, though blurry.

“Kei!” the young man gasped. He was by the side of his bed. His face was ashen, his eyes worried. His grip was tight against the side of Kei’s bed. “You’re finally awake!”

He sobbed. Kei squinted. And he finally made out who this crying young man was.

“Aki…teru,” Kei let out a raspy call.

Akiteru looked up and held his hand. He wiped away his tears and let out a breath of relief.

“Nii…san, where… am I?”

“You’re in the hospital,” Akiteru said.

Kei looked at his brother puzzled. Hospital? Why would he be in hospital?

“Kei,” Akiteru called again as he realises his brothers expression. “Do you remember what happened?”

“…?”

“…”

“Kuroo…” Kei finally murmured, his eyes dashing left and right, but only his brother and a nurse were in sight.

“Kei,” Akiteru softly called. “Kei listen to me.”

He gripped his younger brother’s hand even more tightly.

“Kei, you were in an accident,” he said. “It was… a hit and run.”

Kei looked at his brother is disbelief.

A hit and run? Did I get hit by the car and ended up in hospital? Then where’s Kuroo?

“Kei,” Akiteru softly called again. “Kei you were crossing the road when the accident happened. But Kuroo grabbed you and pulled you back. Instead… instead Kuroo…”

Kei didn’t realise, but his breath was held.

Wait, what do you mean Kuroo pulled me back? Did he…?

“Kei, when Kuroo pulled you back and tossed you behind him, the speeding car hit him instead. It was a high speed direct impact. Kuroo he… he apparently didn’t make it. The car didn’t stop. It swerved past a truck and the truck collided with a commuter bus and it rolled across an intersection ahead. Witnesses said he probably didn’t feel a thing.”

“Wait… nii san wait… What do you mean he ‘probably didn’t feel a thing’ are you saying…”

“Kei, I’m saying that Kuroo died on impact, saving you.”

_Silence_

Kei knew.

He just knew.

That uncomfortable feeling in his stomach he felt this morning. The feeling on uneasiness when he got out of bed; like a foreboding warning that he should have listened to, but didn’t.

“Nii san…”

Tears slowly started to swell in his eyes.

He didn’t know how to react to this news. Did Kuroo really… die? Just like that? All we did was cross the road? Then how –

“Kei… it’s not your fault.”

The tears finally broke through. Hot tears that had swelled up finally made its way down the side of his cheeks, the heavy feeling in his chest finally unleashed; the churning feeling in his stomach had finally dissipated.

Akiteru then slid something small in his hands.

“This was found in his jacket,” he said quietly.

Kei took hold of it and looked down. It was a small black box. The edges were bent, damaged from impact. When did Kuroo buy this?

Kei opened up the box and saw necklace. Perched in the middle was a small black cat charm. A simple black cat necklace attached to a fine silver chain.

“Nekoma…” Kei whispered with a half-smile, tears still falling.

Holding the case tight, he quietly sobbed next to his brother’s comfort.

“It shouldn’t have been you,” Kei whimpered.

It shouldn’t have been you.

It should have been me.

-END-


End file.
